0055: I’m tired, but who rests while their neighbor is suffering?
#teaching #education #opportunity
I started writing this blog to fight my own growing cynicism, and I find why I am doing what I’m doing. Why am I a teacher? I see education—literacy, problem solving, the ability to compete— as a chance for life. It’s the difference, for many, between life and death. Access to quality education is a life changer. It isn’t just a minor difference in quality of life; it’s the difference between poverty and a living wage, and for many, life or death. I am cynical, or have grown cynical, because this task of providing quality education to everyone is impossible. I’m just trying to make it happen for my students, in the failing school where I teach. In the failing schools where I have taught. I have taught kids who think “I’m too good of a teacher for them”— I’m no amazing teacher, I just give a shit, and I struggle to keep that up. I am burned out, or burning out; I am fading. I am tired. Every kid I’ve ever taught has been capable of success. They’ve never been the criminals that they were described as. They’ve been human; they’ve been kids. The system has failed, and is failing. I have failed, and am failing. There is venom in what I write, and what I say. I am overwhelmed. I want to walk away. I want to turn off. I want to rest. But, who rests while they’re neighbor is suffering? I go to bed a failure, and I’ll go fail tomorrow and the next day. Someone I fail in front of each day will succeed, and that will be enough.